noSUrPrise.
I wonder if I’ll ever be..
or if she’ll ever notice it.
…
maybe not.
but that doesn’t mean
that i’ll stop trying it.
what?
it?
yeah.
because she’s all that ever
mattered and
will ever matter
makes my heart go
pitter patter..pitter..
…
but one of my friends
tried to hit her.
unsuccessful.
..that taught me a little lesson.
and I’ll be danged if imma
let that be all
i ever mention.
..
but then again.
its aggression.
the adrenaline that
springs the weapon.
hard to ignore
..
no pun intended.
i am a man
and sometimes,
i’m tempted…
who isn’t?
…
nevertheless I speak
to impress
in hopes that from my lips
she will achieve happiness
and watch..
as all her dreams leave
the jail of her imagination
and become as real to her
as that tingling sensation
she got..
when we caught eyes.
might be for you
but to me
no surprise.
A lesson told in pictures.
Today ii was led to watch a documentary called “I’m Still Here”. Directed by Casey Affleck (brother of Ben) , chronicled the journey of one actor/Affleck bro-in-law, Joaquin Phoenix as he retired from acting and began to actively pursue a rap career.
from the outside, i have never really respected him as an actor. Maybe that was a little biased on my part being that Gladiator is my fave movie and he was the “villain” that Russel Crowe vowed to kill.
As ii sat here watching this documentary..i wondered..what would even lead me to watch this? ii mean, i have no respect for a man who openly calls prostitutes while on camera, does blow, and screams “im the nigger in charge over here”…smh
But nevertheless, i continued to watch this man work the massive stream of connects that he has..and he somehow managed to meet with Diddy and show him his music. It was amazing to see how, even though he faced massive ridicule and ultimately gave up, how easy it was for this man to move from one arena to the next. no thought to whether or not he would really be received in a good way, but just did it. and i thought to myself…
“WOW. now thats the power of money right there.”
no restraints, no recourse. just jumped right in. Cadence all wrong, music horrible, lyrics probably good but because he speaks a jumbled, fumbled mess in the first place, it didnt have the effect it should have had. I mean, whatever.
the general idea behind what he did…filming it all, is that he wanted the people (thats us) to see what its like to walk in his shoes. I’ll be the first to say that i wouldnt be able to do it.
I feel in a strange way though, that ii was supposed to see that. Recent events in my life have led me to an understanding of personal ownership in all you do and the will to succeed above all else is what is supposed to drive your dreams into reality-land. maybe the revelation that needed to be had was that although things appear to be one way, they are an entirely different spectrum from the other end. Seeing this documentary, ii know now to look forward/ appreciate the journey. because once you are on top, its a short hard road down.
